When was the last time you had a flow experience? Or, has motherhood and modern life made me stupid?

I first heard about "flow" at a joint NSF/NASA conference for Tribal Colleges and Universities and other minority serving institutions. The researcher was talking about flow in the context of math learning and since the majority of students in our STEM and other programs are adult women with children I asked if they had any advice on math learning for students who had a hard time reaching flow due to having to cook dinner, supervise their children, and care for their elderly parents while trying to learn math. The presenter (and audience) just laughed, but I think this remains an important question even if we have no good answer for it.

The "flow experience" is a concept in psychology developed by Csíkszentmihályi (yeah, I just cut and pasted that name) to describe a mental state of focused motivation and immersion. The examples the conference scientist used came primarily from sports (a type of group flow): something about the Chicago Bulls and a game 7? Sports fans will know. Another example of group flow is orchestral performance. I remember well the feeling of flow when I played the french horn. The researcher proposed that flow was necessary for truly learning math. I would say that flow experiences are essential to deep learning, and deep performance, in any subject.

I haven't had a true flow experience since spring of 2010 when I was finishing my dissertation and even then I was forcing it all the way. Between my children, my family, and my work I haven't been able to focus on creativity or learn anything at any depth in a long, long time. It may be that I am experiencing the whole motherhood/career/superwoman cliche thing and need to buck up, or it may be that I'm just particularly vulnerable to distraction, but whatever the cause it is troubling. Because of the inability to find flow I tend to avoid starting things - a new project, or even a new book doesn't get started because I know my experience will be interrupted and I'd rather not suffer the pain of being torn away again. I feel like my brain can no longer engage. I used to feel like I could learn anything I put my mind to. Now I feel, quite frankly, a bit slow, a bit stupid.

So what does that have to do with my crafting and fiber arts? Without flow for me it feels like there is no art. Over the years I have gotten better at compartmentalized flow (flow with interruptions), but it never seems quite as satisfying or productive. I tend to choose projects that don't require too much creativity or concentration. What's more, I'm concerned that my children are not experiencing as much flow as I did at their age and this partly due to my inability to focus as well as the increased homework and other extra work they seem to have. Will they ever have the experience of being so totally immersed in something that breakthroughs flow through their pencil like an underground spring bubbling up through the rocks? So in tune with their fellow musicians that it feels as though they are playing as one? I guess at 11 and 13 it might be too early for me to worry about their opportunities for flow. But I'll be watching to encourage flow experiences wherever I can for them, my students, and myself.